One of the things I often find myself reminding students of is being careful not to contradict themselves in the things they ask of their horses…specifically to not pull on their horses when they are asking them to move away or go forward. In other words, don’t push and pull at the same time. That contradiction only serves to confuse our horses, which in turn leads to them giving up on trying to understand what we are asking.
A few years ago, I presented my staff and students with the challenge of trying to push the horses whenever in contact with them, rather than pull on them. So if a horse needed to be led to a paddock, the handler would need to add a little pressure behind the drive line to encourage forward thinking, rather than pull on the halter and lead to get the horse to move. Or if a horse dove for grass when being led, the handler would need to use that energy behind the drive line to move the horse’s body and mind off of the grass, rather than wrestle with their head and drag them towards the intended location.
This exercise encouraged creative thinking and purposeful action, rather than simply doing the same old thing. It also moved people away from trying to use our limited human strength to compel 1000 lb animals to do our bidding. It created more responsiveness and sensitivity in both horses and handlers, and an overall softer way of beings moving around the farm.
I will be the first to admit I am not always good at doing this on a daily basis. It somehow seems like more work, even though I know that in the end, it leads to far less. But it does take presence and diligence, which are sometimes hard to come by at the end of a long day. My point is, even when we know something is the better thing to do for our desired long term result, and we can use our intelligence to clearly understand the reasoning and method behind the idea, it can still be difficult to execute…like choosing not to push and pull at the same time.
I am a very “feely” person. I tend to think in images and those images often connect with feelings, both physical and emotional. That is just how I operate, and I learn best when all three things are present: a visual image, a physical sensation, and an emotional response. I find that the language used in relation to a concept can help me connect the dots, and seems to help many of my students too. In our language, words with similar meantings can have subtly different feelings behind them, which can entirely shift the way the concepts they describe are understood.
Take the words tether and restrain, for example. I first heard these words juxtaposed in a conversation about meditation, describing how one might work with their own wild mind. They both mean to hold something to a specific place, though retstrain has a feeling of restriction and somehow harshness to it, while tether has a sense of holding an object or being in order to keep it safe or grounded. To me, if I retrain something, I am holding it against its will, but if I tether something, I am giving it the freedom to explore while providing it with a home base that is trustworthy and known.
I try to keep this in mind when I am working with horses, either on the line, at liberty, or in a bridle. I want to tether them to me, not restrain them. I want to send their energy in different directions around me…away from me, back to me, in circles and in lines, and always be the safe ground they seek. I try to never restrain them, as if I did, it would be natural for them to try to break free from those restraints and try to leave.
So when I want to move a horse away from me or forward under saddle, I strive to do it with a tether, not a restraint. I am careful not to pull with the unconscious fear of losing them beneath that action, when what I really want is to move them forward or away with a push. I imagine myself as the home they seek when they feel lost in the space away from me. I purposely send them out with the intention that they explore their world with curiosity, trusting that I don’t need to hold them tightly because of course, they will want to come back. I am their safe ground, to which they are gently tethered. I can see it, and I can sense it, and I can feel it. This is what I want my students to understand when I ask them to be careful not to contradict themselves by pushing and pulling at the same time.
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