This little known disease often goes undiagnosed in its horse-owning hosts for years on end, as its symptoms are not easily seen with the naked eye. It seems to affect its victims' minds in varying ways, and is often expressed in the behaviors of the host’s equine partner. Some of the common signs of My-horse-itis are:
Increased fear and worry about normal horse behaviors
Abnormal tolerance for persistently invasive tendencies by their equine
Over-personification of their equine
Deep fear of being disliked by their equine
Intense need to see evidence of love and affection from their equine
Large collections of unnecessary care and training equipment
Endless debilitating conjecture about what might be wrong with their equine
Careful avoidance of asking for more effort from their equine
Inability to see inappropriate behaviors in their equine, while readily pointing it out in the equines of others
A skewed perception of their equine’s athletic ability
A belief they they are the only person who can properly care for their equine
An unwillingness to discontinue a partnership with an equine that is an unsafe or an inappropriate match for their goals
The long term results of persistent, untreated My-horse-itis may include, but are not limited to:
Being the owner of a pushy horse
Bodily injury
Debt
Anxiety
Judgmental views of others
Being the owner of an anxious, unsettled horse (Does this sound like you? This Patreon lesson might help!)
New symptoms may appear at random in victims of My-horse-itis, and are not limited to the ones listed above. This is, in part, why the disease is so difficult to isolate and cure. It affects juniors, amateurs and, yes, even professionals. I am writing this article not only as an observer of My-horse-itis in my clients, but as a host of the disease. While I am often able to assist my clients in noticing when their disease symptoms are flaring, and offer helpful antidotes to re-regulate their systems, I am often blind to my own My-horse-itis flare-ups.
This seems to stem from several places, one of which is that I don’t have regular eyes on the ground, watching me work with my horse. This is usually the first line of defense against My-horse-itis. Without this external feedback, I find myself deep in the throes of this disease before I realize how bad my symptoms really are. As a trainer, I often assume that I am immune to the disease, expecting that I will naturally follow the advice that I am giving my students about their horses with my own. And then somehow, I find myself completely blind to the behaviors of my horse, right in front of me.
For example, I have been talking with so many of my clients about the need to not only help their horses relax and settle, but to also purposely bring their energy up, in order to teach them coping mechanisms around how to re-regulate after an adrenaline spike. And yet, with my new horse, Fox, I had been continually trying to relax and settle him without addressing the opposite side of the same coin by bringing his energy up. The result of this for Fox was that he actually felt less settled, and more like a pot of boiling water with the lid on….ready to boil over at any moment. The tipping point was a rail falling on a jump behind him as he cantered away from it, which resulted in him bucking hard, several times in a row, and tossing me in the dirt. The result for me was bodily injury, though only slight, thankfully.
Upon realizing the oversight of these more obvious My-horse-itis symptoms in myself, I began to see that there were other, much sneakier symptoms at play as well. As a person who takes pride in asking the question “What can I do for this horse?” about every horse I work with, every day, I realized that my My-horse-itis mind was asking “What can this horse do for me?” about Fox.
This was an unexpected spin on a set of symptoms I thought I knew so well. My-horse-itis had me stuck in a thought pattern based on my imagined plans for Fox and I, so much so that I was unable to truly assess what Fox needed from me at the moment. I wanted him to be what I had planned for him to be…relaxed and ready to roll out into the horseshow world. My addled mind had been asking questions like “what will having a horse of this quality do for my career?” or “how will other perceive me because I have this lovely horse?” If I had instead been watching him as I would a client's horse, I would have seen more clearly what he needed, and formulated a plan to help him. But because he is my horse, and I had ideas about what he “should” be doing and when, My-horse-itis got the better of me.
For others, this particularly nasty strain of the disease might have them looking to their horse for emotional stability, asking “how will my horse make me feel better today?”, and expecting their equine partner to behave in a certain way in order to provide relieve to the stresses of their life. And while time spent with horses can be extremely therapeutic, it is not the job of any horse to make it's owner feel good, and such expectations can lead to a very strained and unfulfilling relationship for both partners.
There is good news for me and other sufferers of My-horse-itis though. Once the light of awareness is shown on the symptoms of this wide-spread disease, they can go into immediate remission. Symptoms may even be completely eradicated with vigilant self-reflection, patience, and a good sense of humor. This will require sufferers to slow down and be willing to take a realistic, non-judgmental look at the actual state of things between them and their equine partner, as well as the ability to recognize their My-horse-itis symptoms as harmful to both of them. But all the work will be worth it, as life on the other side of My-horse-itis is so much more enjoyable. Humans and horses will be able to connect in a more genuine way, free from preconceived notions and wistful daydreams. This will ultimately lead to clearer communication and trust between them, no matter the length or nature of their relationship.
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